How to be Happy (in a sad world)

True and lasting happiness isn’t as elusive as you might think, says Ross Chadwick. But what really makes and keeps you happy will probably come as a surprise.

The pursuit of personal satisfaction and happiness is at the core of everything we do, whether we’re altruistic or masochistic. According to researchers, happy people tend to be more energetic, decisive, flexible, creative and sociable.

Happy people are also more trusting, loving, forgiving and responsive, and can tolerate more frustration. They are more willing to help those in need and are also more generous.

Emotions are biological events! Even our body’s immune system fights disease more effectively when we’re happy. When we’re depressed, the number of disease-fighting cells declines. Helen Keller said, “Joy is a holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.”

where to find happiness?
Analysis of scientific data1 might help you to reassess your priorities. Wealth-accumulating materialism and self-focused individualism doesn’t produce wellbeing. What does is an active spirituality and closer relationships with others. Happy people know that life’s circumstances are only events and that faith can change the future.

When researchers ask, “What would make you more happy?” most say, “More money.” But the facts show this isn’t so. The euphoria from a large pay rise or lottery windfall is transitory.

Happiness is a state of mind that depends less on our objective circumstances than on how we respond to them. Neither poverty nor wealth brings happiness! Affluence has steadily increased over the past 50 years while our sense of wellbeing has declined.

While materialism is a way of keeping score in the game of life, it has only a moderate effect on our wellbeing. Surveys from various countries all record a modest percentage increase in wellbeing in affluent countries over poorer, but within those countries the richest aren’t usually the happiest. The poorest live with hopelessness, while those at the top live with emptiness.

The research concludes that once a person is comfortable, more money provides a diminishing return, thus the correlation between income and happiness is modest—happiness does not increase with great affluence. Where you have basic human rights, security of food and shelter, as well as meaningful activity and enriching relationships, your happiness remains unaffected by the addition of a new BMW.

Rich people are poor people with a lot of money. In reality, though, there are two ways to be rich. First, you can have great wealth or, second, you can have few wants. It’s as Shakespeare said, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so” (Hamlet). Happiness depends less on having things than on attitude toward the things we have already.

Happy people have higher self-esteem, while low self-esteem is connected with depression. People who are insecure re-establish their own self-worth by putting others down, while people who like and accept who they are, feel good about themselves and can build others up.

Most of us have a good reputation with ourselves, unlike Groucho Marx who once quipped, “I’d never join any club that would accept a person like me.”

Happy people believe they are free to choose their own destiny. They are therefore more in control of life and have more positive feelings of happiness. Lack of control, the experience of helplessness and repeated traumas cause unhappiness and depression. This is why people and happiness thrive in stable democracies where there is more personal freedom.
Happy people are outgoing and tend to be hope-filled. As Norman Vincent Peale said, “The good news is that bad news can be turned into good news when you change your attitude.”

All of these are areas you can work on. Life, like money, is a resource you can spend only once, and we can put more flow into our lives by living more intentionally. That means saying yes to things that make life more meaningful and no to time-wasting demands.

Research from six studies shows that close personal relationships with friends and family and a strong religious faith not only make people happier, but helps them live longer.

faith helps happiness
People who suffer divorce, unemployment, bereavement, serious illness or disability retain greater joy if they also have spiritual faith. They’re better able to find meaning amid the trauma. A religious faith is a buffer to the impact of trauma. Our self-esteem is positively affected by a realisation of God’s love toward us.

If happiness is the product of authentic faith, then it’s important to understand the source of faith. To know God is to trust Him—this is faith. Such faith isn’t produced by trying, but by dying.

Dying means coming into a relationship with and focusing on the Author of life, Jesus. This relationship isn’t found in performance-based religious practise. Such only produces stress and trauma, and never pure faith. Performance religion is driven by circumstances; faith is based on the exchange offered at the cross (see 2 Corinthians 5:21), where Jesus offered us His perfection in exchange for our sinfulness and His life in exchange for our death. This is the greatest trade ever made and when you make it, it leads to certainty in the Christian life and an assurance with an eternal destiny.

There’s no formula for how this “dying” happens—but it must nevertheless! Jesus said, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). True faith is fixing your eyes upon Jesus, “the author and perfecter of our faith”(Hebrews 12:2).

Jesus on the cross at Calvary demonstrates our worth, and Calvary produces true faith. On the cross, He proved the worth of every human being and also showed us the difference between being helpless and worthless. We are helpless to escape the terminal illness of this planet, but He showed us we are not worthless.

I once lived on a farm with a grove of New Zealand’s famous Kauri trees. One day a massive storm blew half of them over, which saddened me, so I made a closer inspection. It revealed that those that had blown over were undermined by bush borer.

The storm only revealed their condition. Crisis does not change anybody. If you’re going to have a faith that withstands life’s storms, then you must develop it before the storms hit. You do this by becoming personally acquainted with Christ.
Spiritually motivated happiness, courage, fortitude, faith and implicit trust in God’s power to save don’t come in a moment; rather, they’re heavenly graces acquired through the experiences of years.

We don’t know our own hearts. I’ve known people who’ve weathered the storms of the seven seas only to drown in their own bathtub. The prophet Jeremiah says that “the heart is deceitful above all things” (17:9). So because of His love, God allows trials and temptations to come that we may see things as they are.

A faith based on circumstances is no faith at all. A relationship with God based on performance offers no security; in fact, it’s no relationship at all and will certainly not produce happiness. The Christian faith is bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions. It’s a faith that produces real happiness in a gloomy world.

1. David G Myers, The Pursuit of Happiness, Avon Books, 1992.

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